Kids Say Such Funny Things

“Mom, you came over with the Pilgrims, right?”
No! I’m not that old!
“Are you sure? I thought I saw your picture in the chapter about pilgrims.”
Do you know how long the rest of your life is? Add it up, math genius, because that’s how long you’re grounded.


If you were a milkshake, what flavour would you be?
“Olive Oil, so you wouldn’t drink me.”
Ooh. Clever.


“Okay, I got the gnome out of the grave so now I’m sane again!”
‘Just watch out for the four-legged eyeball!’
Uh.. No. I’m not even going to ask.


“Nana said you should let me watch The Hunger Games.”
No way. That movie is about kids killing kids.
“She said you watched scary stuff when you were a kid.”
Yeah, look how I turned out.
“Good point!”


(After listening to the kids talk about the “old days”, before mom and dad had “cool stuff”)
You know what would be funny?
Hubby: “You’re not unscrewing the backs of their chairs so that they fall when they sit down.”
You never let me have any fun!


“Mom! He’s looking at my monitor!”
‘Mom, she’s watching something she shouldn’t.’
“No I’m not! Mom! He’s breathing my air!”
“Mom, she’s on my planet.”

(To hubby) This is why some species eat their young.
Hubby: “Use salt and pepper, Robert Irvine says it adds flavour.”